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Sunday, February 3, 2008

Better Valentine Gifts Than A Waffle Maker

Last Saturday I was browsing around in the newspapers, catching up on a few things such as the upcoming elections. I’m in my mid-twenties now and so I’m eligible to vote. It’ll be my first time voting too, so I better keep up to date.

Of course, no newspaper-reading time would be complete without a browse through the comics. Yups, can’t finish a newspaper without comics. One of favourites, The Zits, caught my eye and fixed my mind.

Okay, so the father thinks that a waffle maker is a sexy romantic appliance.

*cue broken record player*

Oh, we can soooooooooo see how this is going to end. Classic small-minded male. It is an ‘oops’ waiting to happen. If he’s thinking of Valentine’s Day romance, what the hell is he looking at kitchen appliances?

Got to give the guy some credit though. At least he remembers Valentine’s Day.

Concerning men, I won’t claim I’m an expert. I only had a few dates here and there, maybe. It’s not that I’m pathetic (: “Hah! Debatable.”), it’s because I’m extremely fussy. I’m an acute observer of human nature and psychological influence, especially about the opposite gender.

One thing I notice a lot about men is that practicality influences them. Everything in a matter of straight-forwardness and strategic planning goes best with their mental workings. Your woman spends time in the kitchen. She’s a great cook. Which makes a waffle maker the most practical gift for Valentine’s Day.


I know what you men are probably thinking. Ooo, should you get a microwave instead? Maybe she prefers cleaning appliances. How about a washing machine? Or a vacuum cleaner?

Every year there is one genius who thinks this way. It’s not that your woman won’t appreciate it. If she really likes to cook, she’ll welcome it but...

It’s not the most romantic of gifts. Actually, it’s hardly any kind of romantic gift at all.

Guys, open your small minds for as long as you still got the time before February 14. Yes, she spends time cooking in the kitchen. Yes, you love her and she loves you. Yes, you should get her a gift of appreciation of all the things she’s done. She’s probably preparing one for you. And if she hadn’t prepared a gift, she can use the waffle maker to cook you nice, hot waffles. Mm-mmm, would that be great?

Woman’s reaction =

That is how probably a woman would react. And I don’t blame her. Cooking, cleaning, that’s all part of the wifely job. Your woman knew it before she married you and knew she’s going to have to do all that for you because otherwise you will be eating fast-food junk and wearing plastic underpants.

Like the Disney Snow White had sung with her 1001 forest animals and a broom, your better half whistles while she works and find joy in the working. But home appliances as gifts for Valentine’s Day?! Those things just reinforces the reminder of her marital repetition.

Of yeah, Saint Valentine would be so proud of you, you jerk.

Valentine’s Day is not just to appreciate of having each other but also to appreciate the soulmate himself or herself. What a wife really likes, her personality, what catches her eye, what makes her whimsical. What really makes her think that she’s the luckiest woman to have you.

Hardly a waffle maker would do that.

Women don’t think like men because we aren’t men. Our role in natural order is growth and preservation. That’s why we cook and clean. It’s instinctive. But on Valentine’s Day, It’s about observing the other facets of our identity, our personalities.

Men love their expensive fast cars? It’s practical because it takes them places. But it’s drinking petrol like fish drinks water.

Woman love expensive rich chocolate? It’s emotionally stimulating and tasteful. But it’s gone with every bite so the woman just ate RM$50.

So men! What can you get her that isn’t too expensive, emotionally conscious and still practical and without bruising your partner’s self-image?

Sounds like a miracle? Actually, it is possible. Here’s some examples.

Ornate picture frames goes well. Emphasis on ornate. Valentine’s Day is a good day to look back on the memories of the year; photos are footprints of such memories. Epitomes of such frames can be brought at Lovely Lace, or if you got some extra cash, maybe Royal Selangor’s pewter>. Pick a really nice photo for it, something you both shared as a couple.

You can even take a simple picture on that day (say, an intimate lunch), print it out from your PC and you two can frame that picture together. It won’t even take more than 20 minutes but she’ll definitely remember that she had your undivided attention on a little project on a special day, every time she looks at the picture frame.

Why, jewellery of course. Not real jewellery, so don’t zip your wallets yet! Costume jewellery works as well as the real one on, say, a family gathering, non-formal girls’ day out or a touch of elegance just for going to work. It’s inexpensive and easier to maintain than the super-carat pieces. Brooches and earrings are the costume jewellery that last longer than necklaces or bracelets because they don’t touch the skin so often.

They also come in a variety of colours but if you don’t know which colour would suit her (and her favourite dress), get the classic silver or gold pieces. You can find pretty ones in various shops in Ikano Power Centre and in the weekend bazaar at The Curve.

Towels are good. Large, soft, fluffy ones, big enough for her to wrap herself in, something from Parkson’s or Mark and Spencer. Too small or too thin, it’ll turn into kain buruk (dirt cloth) by year’s end. Towels are great, better than cheap shampoo, because they don’t directly say Clean Me, but rather I’m Wearing Only This.

But if you really had to get her a kitchen appliance... Get a dishwasher. No more manual soap and scrub over the sink. Mm-mmm, more time to give a proper thank you. Now that’s sexy.

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