Flash Game: Other Age by Zeiva.

Firstly, thanks to Nessiah for her kick-starting my addiction to flash games. I hope your first Christmas in Australia has the summer weather burn your ass and your family pizza dinner.

If, like me, you liked multiple choice then you must have dreaded all the subjective questions in your secondary school exams. Every question has a 25% of being right and 75% of being wrong. And every question plays a role in determining your score as either an A, B, C and etc, etc.

Pretty much, that’s how you start Other Age, a flash game by Zeiva (who made 5 other flash games, alongside with a gazillion and one superb artwork). A round of multiple choice questions. Hey, not that I’m complaining because this is a really great game. Addictive too.

You play a princess who woke up to her 16th birthday. Tradition in the Zeiva kingdom is that you get to go on a blind date with a gentleman based on the choices you’ve input into this crazy machine that’s a 1/2 a teleporter and 1/2 anR2D2 with fork arms.



Yes, the machine is called that way. Don’t ask me why, I just play the damn thing.

By the way, every gentleman that is transported to you was done so unwillingly so your first challenge was to explain that you’re not going to rape them or anything. Once you figure out what kind of guy you’ve bombed yourself with, pick a date-setting they might like and get starting (cafeteria, library, etc, etc...).



For example, this is my first guy, Neody, bodyguard to Prince Lenz (he’s also my favourite guy). He enjoys long walks in the woodlands so I’ve chosen the, er, woodlands. But like every other dating game, trouble starts and thus I’m plunged into a search-and-rescue survival mission.

Also known as a mini game.



Different guys get you different mini games. Like if your multiple choice got you Zoui (a hungry guy from Zeiva’s other flash game, Genetic Glow), your mini game is to serve him as much good food with the time limit (emphasis on GOOD food). Win and you get Zoui’s Date True Ending. Fail and Zoui gets send back with many apologies from the King and he gets blasted by his friends as in ‘where the heck have you been?’ interrogation.



The same principles go for all your chosen guys. Each possessed a ‘true ending’ when you score and several ‘failed endings’, all depending on how badly you did. There are about 8 guys you can easily find and 2 ‘secret’ guys that are going to take some considerable skill in the multiple choices Luv-Luv robot’s questions to look for.



Warning! Beware of this guy! This is the man you DO NOT want to end up with. Trust me; it’s bad enough just looking at him (worse than some real-life guys I know) but it took me several tries to finally find a method to really get rid of him. You just have to punch his lights out.

The creators of the game kept to the secrecy in their sellable art book, so you’ll have to do some real money purchasing in order to find all the full Other Age secrets (hey, the girls got to make a living).

I have scored on all 8 guys and with the help of a great blog reader I also found the last 2 secret guys! Haha, not what I expected for either of them.

Overall, I duly recommend this game.
Link: http://zeiva.deviantart.com/art/Other-Age-39931316

Again, thanks to Nessiah. You Filipino wuss.
PS: Your Christmas present had been sitting in my file service provider for days. Can’t I just e-mail you the link and let you temp yourself to download it?

PPS: Interesting... My stats show that this blog entry is widely viewed. If you want to know how to get the all 10 guys and win their (mini games) hearts, do leave a note and I'll give the answer.

Flash Game: Grow Island.

Now if you’re a regular visitor here, you would probably guess I liked games a lot. Just between you, me and the rest of bloggers around the world, if I were a cheap junkie living in Money-land suburbia, I’ll whore myself to the industry indefinitely. Give me your number and I’ll give you my virginity in exchange for your Xbox 360.

No, not really, not for games.
I’m still saving my soul for the perfect sex partner.

Passing over the subject before you start touching yourself, I made a point of playing around the internet looking for hosted Flash Games. You know those nice small programs with more graphic than game features but also get you these instant amateur gamers’ high (which I call quick-gasm). For today’s model I present Grow Island.

It’s not much to look at, the style is simplistic and the interface comes in only two languages (japanese and japanglish). But I liked it mostly because it’s very cute.

What? I’m a girl, dammit. Let me be cute-conscious.

The objective of the game is to click the little square boxes at the bottom of the screen in the correct order. Each box represents a department of development, like architecture or engineering or computer science. Damn nerdy japfags.



You get a different ending depending on your order of choice but there’s only 2 true ending. One is the maximum levels for all the departments and you get the happy ending. The other true ending is when you ignore certain things like the natural environment and engineering progression.



When that happens, aliens take over your island and proceed to screw up your island better than you did. Little green men kidnapped your alpha-male and multiply with your woman before they do a jig-jig-jiggity around their crop-circle.

Cute factor aside, it was a great fun if you’re looking for something that doesn’t take too much of your time. I particularly liked the robots of mechanical engineering (it evolves as your upgrade your other departments). Took me a week to finally get both 'true' endings.

If you’re looking for the game, link is here: http://www.gamegecko.com/growisland.php

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take a cold shower. Because my next Flash Game segment is about a girl and all her potential boyfriends as her sweet 16th birthday present.

We’re a very sick team.

The folks who said that laughter is the best medicine probably didn’t mean it was for the PC. My computer just had an attack of pop-up ad-ware, all proclaiming sites to either ‘Have a Joke a Day’, ‘Click for a Smiley’ or ‘Malays Can Laugh’ or ‘How to Enlarge Your Penis for Your Girlfriend’.

Between you and me, I think the latter over-sickens all the formers. Which is probably why my PC is having a bough of coughing up pop-up those kinds of advertising every 10 seconds of so.

Come type in my computer and I assure you that you’ll going to have sore throats and be feverish in just two days. Hey, not kidding; my PC had been sick for a very long time and only now I’ve decided to update my anti-virus. Check it out.

Once you can distract yourself from the freaking bright, red words, notice I had to turn off my connection to keep the pop-ups at bay (but not away though). It’s more annoying than malicious and I can still run non-porn programs and stuff.

But hey, 85 sick files. And an ungodly number of them are in my backup hard drive too. I hadn’t updated my anti-virus since November so it shouldn’t be a surprise. And so why the renewed interest in care and concern?

It’s because I’m sick too.



Duh. Did you you think I got sore throats and turn feverish from my PC? Puh-lez. I must have got it from my little brother, *Genius (we shared a cup of juice before he told me that he was bio-hazardous). He’s home for his long holidays and like the nerd he is, spends time watching the History Channel and the Numbers series on AXN and not a lots of sun and fresh air.

All that indoor activity must have been strenuous to his immune system. At least he could have told me so I could have armed MY system with Vitamin C. But hey, if I hadn’t been sick, I probably would have left my anti-virus the way it was.

I don’t have an internet connection (I update this blog from cyber-café) because I don’t have a fixed line (poor housing renovations some years back by my father, the other ‘Genius’) and my cellphone’s Celcom charges an arm and a leg per hour. Updates had to be done folder-ly and the reminder just passed me by like a Post-It-Note in the wind.

Now I did get around updating my anti-virus, it took me a full night to get AVG run through all the junk in my trunk, looking for every piece of file you stick a red-coloured tag on. At pretty much the same time, I’m popping in Panadols and gurgling salty water, standing in front of the bathroom mirror.

It’s not that I have an aversion to clinic doctors, it’s just them quacks wants to rake in the most money by sticking high-performance anti-biotics and 3 different kinds of cough syrup and I can’t afford all that.

But at least my PC is clean now. Slow as ever, no internet connection, but the ‘Happy-Happy Super-size My Manhood’ pop-up (oh God, the last 8 words, taken out of context, just sounded... so wrong) don’t pop-up anymore. I don’t know why people think it’s funny. It’s not even medicinal. Funny is a cheap Malay joke I’ve heard on the radio recently.

“What do you call... a very happy burger?”
“Ber-gembira...”

Haha, okay, that joke wasn’t medicinal either. I’m still sick, but for myself, I do feel a bit better. It’s healthy to be easily amused...