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Friday, February 22, 2008

Spoken in Anger

J. M. Coetzee, a renowned South African author, once said, “Truth is not spoken in anger. Truth is spoken, if it ever comes to be spoken, in love.

I disagree.

Anger is a strong emotion linked with thoughts such as dissent, denial and self-control. It is a survivalist thinking to express anger and thus, I believe some of the most truthful words uttered are spoken from anger

Truthful, hurtful words.

No matter how spontaneous it seems, angry words have more truth, revelations about the speaker, than any other emotions which words are expressed with. A man who is disappointed with his subordinates reveals his lack of trust, when spoken in anger.

Spoken with regret, not of his words, but of having had to say those words.

Most people don’t understand the lingering effects of communication. What you say, what they say, impacts human perceptions to the outside environment. How we think, what we think and... innermost thoughts revealed by a moment of outburst.

At times, their expression would fall and excuse themselves, saying things like, “I didn’t mean it”. I wonder, if they didn’t mean it, why did they speak it? And if they spoke without meaning, what has this anger been worth for?

No rational words is ever said in carelessness.

A time not so long ago, my dad once told me that he regretted having children, if he had known that two of them would turn out the way they did. The first had wasted his foreign university money and only now steadily rebuilding his future and the third child... was me.

He never said or acted that he was sorry he had uttered them. And I have since washed my hand from any effort to seek his pride in me.

Some of those who spoken quickly without repent don’t apologize for their words. Merely regret accidentally revealing their true feelings.

Such as in the after-effects of obsessive anger, we can be doomed to recall painful words every time paths are crossed. Either familial disagreements, relationship break-up, employer-to-employee arguments, even political debate.

A Chinese proverb said this;
Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger.

Truthful, hurtful or both, whatever our thoughts reveal, spoken through words and coloured by anger, should never be said lightly.

4 Minds bloomed here too...:

KaV said...

when in anger, ur brain doesnt pause to think about not to hurt feelings... truth DOES hurt...

In anger, ur words reflect the truth. Any thoughts (about sum1 else) that has been locked away in the dungeons of one's mind (for the sake of courtesy and prudence) will be released, and yes, they DO slice deep into another's heart. Why? No one likes to hear the bad stuff about them.

Apologising after uttering "angry truth" is one thing, accepting the said apology is another. One of the many crappy things life throws at us.

Quickening said...

@kav: Truth hurts, yeah... sadly, the other alternative is to live in ignorance. Ignorance is bliss, but... I suppose there are times... when being told the truth, we see ourselves clearer than any mirror could ever reveal.

kyels said...

Truth definitely hurts and ignorance is bliss. But to live ignorantly is the same as living in denial. Sometimes, it's always better to get the truth out of a person rather than a fake smile and answer. Well, it hurts but it's better to live without knowing the truth about oneself.

Quickening said...

@kyels: I guess nobody is ever born a diplomat. But... you really can't deny... Isn't there some truths you rather not want to know if?

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